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| 'I always think of you, when faced with a problem and then it seems so insignificant...' |
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It would take volumes to write about Amma, but this is a small effort on my part for that individual, who has played the most important role in my life. I am not writing my experiences as a student, but as that woman whom Amma accepted as a daughter. I had never known what it was like to have a mother. It is said that since God could not be everywhere, he made mothers... I have hardly any recollection of mine, she passed away when I was too young. At that time came this lady into my life, who accepted me without a second thought. I was then a blissfully ignorant thirteen-year old. Amma is known as a teacher par excellence, but I was fortunate to have seen a different side of her. When I came to Amma, I was a mere baby... she taught me to sit straight, walk, eat and even sleep properly. One could call it discipline, but when I look back, I think it did me a lot of good. How to hold a conversation, speak intelligently, be a good listener, voice modulation... are only some of the zillion things she has taught me. Volumes have been written about her punctuality.., Amma and I always arrived BEFORE time ! She taught her students what to do and how to do... but me she taught a new way of living, which is closest to giving birth. During dance programmes, she was always the teacher, egging me to give only my best. Once at home, she was the loving mother, who although tired, would make time to help me remove my makeup and help me put everything away. The 'removal-of-makeup-time' was time for words of encouragement and criticism. When I was young, I used to love cuddling up to her and can still recollect the scent of sandal that she uses to this day. I used to wake up at nights, to find her bent over a small rough pad, with full concentration. She would always use a small torch, so that our sleep would not be disturbed. On enquiring the next morning, I would know that a new Padam or Javali or Jati had been composed. Yes, she was a midnight composer, like A. R. Rahman ! Shopping was always a tussle, but in the end she would always give in to my demands. I always wonder how a lady, who has so much in her mind, like composing, choreographing, maintaining schedules... could remember my likes and dislikes in food. But she always remembered and even personally cooked my favourite dishes to perfection. I always enjoyed my meals with her, post programme, as it was the time to laugh at all the faux pas of the day! She would then relate some past anecdote, in a similar vein ! She was instrumental in introducing me to all my cousins and uncles, whom I didn't even know. Power cuts in the city and visits to the beach meant singing old Lata and Talat Mehmood songs and Ghulam Ali ghazals, which Amma always loved. It was her meticulous planning that made my wedding day a grand success, a much talked-about event even to this day. I remember when I was suffering from tuberculosis, she would accompany me to the doctor's everyday for my injection... for nearly two months. When my son, Madhur was born, she would sit up nights, singing him lullabies, putting him to sleep, aware that she may get a migraine headache and would have to take her classes the next day. Maybe this has made Madhur the musician he is today, like she has made me sensitive and strong. She has also made me a capable dancer-singer-teacher and above all, a good mother and wife. (Murli will vouch for that !) I have always admired her and even to this day, I stand in awe of her. I am what I am because of her. She has been a caring and loving mother, who is my pillar of strength, to this day. Her life has been a true example for me and that is the reason why I always think of her, when faced with a problem and then it seems so insignificant... The biggest compliment I have received from her is, "I am proud of you." That's what keeps me going. My mother gave me life, but Amma gave my life a meaning, for which I am eternally grateful. Amma, we wish you all happiness.
Your loving daughter, |
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